


Birthday Sandwich Party

by AviDragonLady



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: ImUncomfortable, M/M, TheyLiterallyAskedForThis, TryGuysEatSandwiches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-26 00:40:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15652233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AviDragonLady/pseuds/AviDragonLady
Summary: Zach sets up a sexy sandwich party for two on Eugene's birthday. Beware: pun sandwiches are everywhere! You have been warned!!!





	Birthday Sandwich Party

Zach spread lettuce petals all over his bedroom, in preparation for Eugene’s birthday saladbration. He padded their love bed with lots of fluffy hamburger buns. Wouldn't want to damage his sandwich lover’s pickle, now, would he? Nobody wants a bruised pickle.  
He lit some fragrant cucumber candles, to set the mood.  
The doorbell rang, and there was his sexy korean barbecue BLT, all decked out in kimchi colored slacks, and nothing else.  
For his part, Zach had chosen to wear boxers with mustard hearts on them. His furry chest was bare to the world--which, at the moment, was Mrs. Simek down the hall.  
He yanked his sexy Elvis inside before she could get a look at his unmowed love lawn, or Eugene’s banana.  
“I've got a surprise for you,” Zach cooed, skipping into the nest of lettuce and buns he'd prepared.  
“Oh honey, you shouldn't have,” Eugene said without heat. He was already wilting at the sight of the fluffy bed of fixins.  
“Lettuce begin, shall we?” They entered the sandwich den of iniquity and closed the door.  
“Are you ready for this?” Zach asked, waggling his thick eyebrows at Eugene.  
Eugene nodded, kneeling there on the lush carpet of lettuce petals.  
Zach slowly, sensuously slapped Eugene’s face with his meatball sub. “You want it all, don't you?”  
“Oh yes, give me your meatballs,” he groaned.  
“I hope you're hungry,” Zach said.  
“Yes, yes!”  
Eugene took a mouthful of Zach’s footlong, mumbling around the juices that had gone everywhere. Zach ran his hands through Eugene’s perfect coif, eyes closed. Again and again, Eugene went back for seconds, thirds, until there was nothing left to devour.  
“Ready for dessert?” Zach asked, holding a long, smooth bottle of mayonnaise.  
“Give it to me, my little squirrel of love.”  
Zach squeezed the bottle of mayo all over Eugene’s smooth, anime god chest. He smeared the thick white liquid all over his chiseled body, head tilted back with ecstasy.  
When the bottle was empty, Eugene stood in one languid motion and bent Zach over the salad bar. He made him eat salad until he was satisfied that his sandwich lover had gotten his fill.  
“All right, birthday boy,” Zach said, wiping egg off his face. “Time for your birthday spankings.”  
Zach bent him over his...uh...shoulder, and spanked his flank steak once for every year he'd been alive.  
“Ooh, you know I like it when you beat my meat,” Eugene growled playfully. He grabbed a salami from the bedside table and slapped Zach’s buns, as though he held a fencing foil.  
“Ooh!” Zach squealed, snatching up the summer sausage. They poked and jabbed at each other, all across the bedroom. Nowhere was off-limits. Not tonight.  
When they'd had their fun, they collapsed to the now scattered pile of lettuce and buns, laughing and sated.  
“Ooh, these buns really are soft,” Eugene said, surprised.  
Zach wiped mayonnaise off of his sandwich lover’s face, licked his finger. “You know I take care of you, honey.”  
“Yeah, you do.”  
They cuddled the rest of the night, because dammit, Zach is a good cuddler.

[Love Squirrel](https://photos.app.goo.gl/sEKzzaGM9bxqbKhv6)

**Author's Note:**

> Eugene and Zach are the only 2 Try Guys who aren't married, and I'm a prude, so I guess I ship EuZach...Zagene..? Whatever, apparently I ship it today.  
> P.S. I cringed, laughed, flailed, and said "nope!" throughout the writing of this mustardpiece. Hope y'all enjoy.  
> Oh, and Zach? If y'all do act this out, please remove your glasses prior to tossing salad. You know, for safety.


End file.
